The other night I was reading my scriptures and came across this scripture and thought of you.   1 Nephi 14:11 –

” And it came to pass that I looked and beheld the whore of all the earth,

and she sat upon many waters; and she had dominion over all the earth,

among all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people.”

Retaliate in any way you see fit.

Love,

Joanie

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5-Second Rule…Rules:

Wet textured food – Goes in the trash
ANY public surface – Goes in the trash
Bathroom surface – Goes in the trash

Other than that….We’re good!

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Here are some 5-second rule pictures from our

house. Apparently cornstarch, chocolate, and

rotisserie chickens fall under the 5-second rule….

Okay that last pic is pretty white trash.  I will have

to add that to my “Top 10 things that make me white

trash” post

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Earlier this week Melissa invited me to work with @Clorox and Samantha Bee from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.  Samantha spoke about her parenting style and how she was guilty of using the 5-second rule in her home. While listening to her speak about this I could tell that we had very similar parenting styles, though she probably would not openly agree with that after seeing the pictures above……

Anyway, @Clorox and San Diego State University conducted a study that demonstrated that using the 5-second rule may not be the best parenting practice. The study found that germs attached to food/baby bottles when dropped on several household surfaces within 5 seconds.

Did I ACTUALLY think that the 5-second rule was real? Okay. No. I have always thought someone made it up as a joke. Will I continue to live by it regardless of that? Absolutely.  The 5-second rule stays in our house. Fortunately for  people like me, @Clorox has their Clorox Wipes that are so easy to use and no laundry comes from using them. My mom used to make us use 3 wash cloths per bathroom in our house when cleaning them. I’m sorry but that is 9 too many wash cloths for me. Thanks.

There are some really great products and tips that you can read about on SimpleandSurprising.com

Now, onto the giveaway!

-Win a Clorox Surprise Pack valued at $20-

How To Enter:

• Leave a comment here with a 5-second rule story of your own.  (1 entry)
  
• Leave a comment here with the url to a funny 5-second rule picture you have. (1 extra entry)
• Subscribe to my blog and leave a comment telling me you subscribed (1 extra entry)
• Follow @Clorox On Twitter and tweet : Debunk the 5 Second Rule Myth & Win $20 in Clorox Products  http://bit.ly/dumOt8 #5SecRule – Leave a comment saying you did so. (1 extra entry)

Giveaway ends February 10th 2010 at midnight. Winner will be informed by email. US only.

I was compensated monetarily by Clorox for this post. All opinions are my own.

Excuse me, but I would like to know WHY there are STILL so many people searching “mermaids“? More importantly why are people searching “dead mermaids” so much.  My blog has only been up since April but I think I am getting more than my share of the “mermaid” traffic out there.  Check it….(I’m sure this post isn’t going to get me any less lol, and I’ll TAKE IT! I should start a blog about mermaids )

(that “Evian, Live Young” at the end is kind of creepy sounding)

*Driving in the car-Lady Gaga’s “Love Game” comes on*

Maddie (4): “Mamma, why does she want to take a ride on his disco stick?”

Me: “Uhhhh, ’cause it’s fun!”

Maddie (4): “What is a disco stick?”

Me: “Uhhhh, it’s a stick you bounce on and you jump around town on it. You’ve probably seen it on Wow Wow Wubzy.”

This whole time I’m trying to describe a pogo stick to her and Rob is sitting in the car next to me laughing, making all these sexual jokes that I’m hoping she won’t pick up the words to, which, clearly she is capable of doing. I haven’t really had this problem. Ya know, worrying about Maddie listening to inappropriate music cuz our ghetto van doesnt have a radio so I have been listening to my iPhone illegally while driving that car. But now we have another car that does have radio and she hears all my songs. Not good. Being a good example to your kids get harder when they turn 4 1/2.

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ANYWAY, in further news, the WINNERS of the Full-Day Moms Who Make It Conference tickets are: Kimberly G. and Kendahl. Congratulations! I wish I could have picked all of you!

CONGRATULATIONS!

The WINNER of the Best Buy-Father’s Day Giveaway is:

TANYA WILSON

I saw my stickers stapled to my registration a few months ago and thought….Hmmm, maybe they’re extras, cuz I just figured RJ would have put them on. I told the cop that I was surprised I hadn’t gotten pulled over before for outdated stickers. Anyway, no ticket.

I have gotten pulled over before while not wearing my seatbelt, making an illegal u-turn with a motorcycle cop behind me, couldn’t find my registration or proof of insurance, and still…no ticket. My trick is if you just look through all the CRAP in your glove compartment FOREVER trying to find whatever it is they’re asking for, then they get annoyed and just leave…

I have a perfect driving record. The End.

UPDATE:

I do not have a perfect driving record anymore.

I was in California for a wedding recently and got pulled over for running a stop sign and speeding. He only wrote the ticket for running the stop sign, but that makes me mad. I wish he had only written it for speeding, cuz I so don’t remember running a stop sign. My freckles did not work on this man…then I cried. Unfortunately I forgot to cry while he was still there, or even beg him not to give me a ticket. Why did I not do those things???

It was so frustrating because I was just trying to get to my friend’s house. Every time I go to her house from the back way I get lost. I was so low on gas I decided to go back the way I came and get gas before looking for her house again, and THAT is when I met Mr. Cop. So after the cop wrote me a ticket and drove off, I went to the gas station to get gas, and while I was there, this guy was standing outside the convenient store door talking to me just low enough that I couldn’t actually understand him. After telling him I couldn’t hear him several times, I finally said, “Do you want me to know what you’re saying???? I CAN NOT HEAR YOU!” Course by then I was standing right next to him and he said….”Blah blah blah….something about me wanting a percocet.” And I was like, Ughhh! and went in to pay for the gas.  After pumping the gas I was sitting in my car texting my friend, who’s house I was supposed to already be at, and calling “the husband” to let him know my bad news, and EVERY time I looked out my window, there was Mr. Percocet with a sympathetic look on his face touching his heart and mouthing, “I love you, baby.” The third time I looked over and saw this, I had to laugh. I’m pretty sure he saw me get a ticket. It happened right across the street from the gas station he was trying to deal drugs from.

Anyway, now I have to do online traffic school so this stupid ticket won’t go on my record. Hmmm, I should have taken a picture with that drug dealer, or at very least gotten a picture of him mouthing, “I love you, baby.” That would have made this all better, I think.

If a ticket causes a rate increase consider comparing insurance quotes online.

For several years I thought Michael Jackson was saying,

“…the janitor’s not my son”.

in the song ‘Billie Jean’.

How? Why? I do not know. But that is what I heard everytime.

OH! And by the freakin’ way…..The WINNER of the PIXEL BY PIXEL Business Card Giveaway is……

Mollie Neff

Congratulations!!!

(Thanks to random.org….for being random & org’y……WHOA! That doesn’t look right!)

“For behold, there were many of the Nephites who had become hardened and impotent…”

Course that’s not even physically possible now is it? So I looked long and hard (no pun inteneded) at the word to see if I had read it right. Then I turned to look at Rob who was laughing behind me. ]]> http://www.keepingupwithmom.com/2009/05/wicked-weiners/feed/ 2 http://www.keepingupwithmom.com/2009/05/rock-paper-scissors/ http://www.keepingupwithmom.com/2009/05/rock-paper-scissors/#comments Fri, 15 May 2009 07:13:10 +0000 Jones http://www.keepingupwithmom.com/?p=236 I did not write this. I’m not entirely sure who did, and there are different version of it all over the internet, but I like this one.

“I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I understand why a rock can beat scissors, but there’s no F-ing way paper can beat a rock! Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why in the world can’t paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can’t paper do this to people? Why aren’t sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat a rock. A rock would tear that up in 2 seconds. When I play rock, paper, scissors I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh, I’m sorry, I thought the paper would protect you, you ass!”