Noah: I feel BAD! At the end of this month is Halloween, except that is not why I feel bad. It’s just you’re NOT GETTING ME A GLASS OF MILK!!!
*In his defense he has asked me at least 3 times already
Noah to his Auntie April: If you are about to die I will trip the guy who’s about to kill you. No really, I’m trained a lot …I even trained myself.
Noah (6): Do bad guys say prayers to Satan?
Maddie (9): Why did someone make it bad to stick your middle finger at people? Is it because it was the only finger without a purpose? Pinkie finger, Ring finger, Pointer finger….Swearing finger???
Noah: Mommy? So…you’re fat because of the baby growing…but why is daddy fat??
Scripture study review question. Good answers get Jelly Bellies. Noah got one sympathy Jelly Belly. He was clearly listening lol…
Rob: What do you have to do to get the vail lifted?
Noah: Um, go to hell?
Talking to Maddie about the name Robert….
Rob: It was common back then to call a man with the name Robert, “Bob”.
Noah (chimes in): So you’re saying your dad was a scientist?
Rob: Nooooooo. My dad went by Bob and I went by Robert.
Noah: Was he a builder?
Robert: Joanie! Come here.
Me: I can’t! I’m fat.
Noah: You’re not fat! You’re skinny!
Me: *GASP* Oh thank you, Noah!!! *hugs and kisses him*
Noah: Welllll, the truth is you ARE fat but I WISH you were skinny.
Noah just woke up…
Noah: I’m 6 now!
Mommy: Happy Birthday!…you’re not gonna wear pants on your birthday?
Noah: When my birthday starts and you celebrate it I will put my pants on
Maddie: “EWWW! That’s disgusting!!”
Maddie: “These fries are made with sea salt!! Fish poop in the sea!!!”
After making waffles Maddie said, “You’re the best mom EVER. HOLLA!”
Noah: If I was 32 I would be sad.
Noah: Cuz I would miss you if I was 32 and grown up.
Mom: Well I will still be alive when you are 32, and you can come visit me whenever you want!
Noah: Well I don’t know where your house is.
Mom: Well I’m not going to move away and not tell you where I live.
Noah: I know but I will be sad. I don’t want to grow up. I want to stay 5. I want to be 18…to have a girlfriend….STOP LAUGHING!
I texted this to Noah’s Kindergarten teacher:
“Noah just told me that you told him ladders were made of metal and cookies were made of weed. Busted!”