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Kids Say The Darndest Things…Mostly Noah Edition

Noah: I feel BAD! At the end of this month is Halloween, except that is not why I feel bad. It’s just you’re NOT GETTING ME A GLASS OF MILK!!!

*In his defense he has asked me at least 3 times already

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Noah to his Auntie April: If you are about to die I will trip the guy who’s about to kill you. No really, I’m trained a lot …I even trained myself.

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Noah (6): Do bad guys say prayers to Satan?

Maddie (9): Why did someone make it bad to stick your middle finger at people? Is it because it was the only finger without a purpose? Pinkie finger, Ring finger, Pointer finger….Swearing finger???

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Noah: Mommy? So…you’re fat because of the baby growing…but why is daddy fat??

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Scripture study review question. Good answers get Jelly Bellies. Noah got one sympathy Jelly Belly. He was clearly listening lol…

Rob: What do you have to do to get the vail lifted?
Noah: Um, go to hell?

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Talking to Maddie about the name Robert….

Rob: It was common back then to call a man with the name Robert, “Bob”.
Noah (chimes in): So you’re saying your dad was a scientist?
Rob: Nooooooo. My dad went by Bob and I went by Robert.
Noah: Was he a builder?

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Robert: Joanie! Come here.
Me: I can’t! I’m fat.
Noah: You’re not fat! You’re skinny!
Me: *GASP* Oh thank you, Noah!!! *hugs and kisses him*
Noah: Welllll, the truth is you ARE fat but I WISH you were skinny.

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Noah just woke up…
Noah: I’m 6 now!
Mommy: Happy Birthday!…you’re not gonna wear pants on your birthday?
Noah: When my birthday starts and you celebrate it I will put my pants on

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Maddie: “EWWW! That’s disgusting!!”
Me: “What?”
Maddie: “These fries are made with sea salt!! Fish poop in the sea!!!”

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After making waffles Maddie said, “You’re the best mom EVER. HOLLA!”

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Noah: If I was 32 I would be sad.
Mommy: Why?
Noah: Cuz I would miss you if I was 32 and grown up.
Mom: Well I will still be alive when you are 32, and you can come visit me whenever you want!
Noah: Well I don’t know where your house is.
Mom: Well I’m not going to move away and not tell you where I live.
Noah: I know but I will be sad. I don’t want to grow up. I want to stay 5. I want to be 18…to have a girlfriend….STOP LAUGHING!

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I texted this to Noah’s Kindergarten teacher:

“Noah just told me that you told him ladders were made of metal and cookies were made of weed. Busted!”

MaddieandNoah

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